Hola Mi Familia!
So today on April 15 2010 is my 2nd official P-day and I have some pretty
huge things to share. First off- THANKYOU so much for all the letters!! It's such a huge deal to get them b/c things are so hard here. Keep up the good work and yes Johnny I have gotten your letters (try to watch your language and please don't just type jibberish.....tell me about your day too and stop telling me how the pets are peeing on my bed.......its not fun to hear that..heehee..okay??)
I have to be honest right now and everyone will probably freak out but this past week multiple times I just wanted to come home.......I thought, WHY AM I HERE.......WHY AM I TRYING TO LEARN SPANISH?? IT'S HARD ENOUGH RIGHT NOW JUST TEACHING IN ENGLISH.......I wanted to walk away so bad.....I'm soo exhausted all the time even when I get my sleep and my personal study is going NO WHERE therefore I'm so behind in Spanish......
I felt really dark on Monday night after spanish class. The next day I woke up and felt such discouragement and embarrassment and was ashamed that I felt that way. Tuesday morning during our MDT time (missionary directed time where we study) The Zone leaders came into our class where I was studying with my companions. They looked at me and said they were trying to go around and get to know everyone in the Zone and how they had thought that they needed to meet with me.
I was surprised and actually kinda nervous somehow. SO I went into a room to talk to them and they asked how I was doing. I just started crying and said I didn't know why I was here trying to learn spanish and how hopeless I felt. I said I was embarrassed to be having such a hard time. Why couldn't I have just said I DIDN'T want to learn another language? Elder Murphy and Elder Reynolds listened patiently and I asked if I could have a blessing which they were actually about to offer themselves. Elder Murphy told me that it would be his first blessing and asked if I would be okay with that. I told him that I felt he could do it !! During the blessing he said that I would have the spirit with me and that I would feel peace. Heavenly Father is mindful of me!!!!!!! He said (just like the stake president) that I would be a good companion. He also said that I would be facing some hard
things-some REALLY hard things. But my family would be okay while I'm gone and greatly blessed. He also that I WOULD learn to speak the Spanish Language. This was such a huge testimony to me that my Heavenly Father IS aware & mindful of my struggles. These Zone Leaders were inspired that they needed to meet with me!!!
So I felt much better Tuesday. But I do still struggle and panic A LOT but usually I'm able to stay calm. Wednesday night was our TRC and we had to contact door to door in Spanish and talk about the Gospel & families to pretend investigators. Even though I was lost a lot and didn't understand everything I WAS calm and had a smile on my face the whole time. My companions and I also taught the first lesson again and this time there was such unity & the Spirit was VERY strong in the room that even our pretend investigator teared up. I felt such a high from this and I thanked Heavenly Father for the peace I felt and also that I wasn't nervous or full of anxiety because those things actually chase the Spirit away!! I never really realized that!!
Also I'm not getting out of bed and sleepwalking but apparently Hermana Hall and I talked about Spanish last night in our sleep. Hermana Elwood thought it was hilarious and tried to make sure she remembered what we were talking about. DON'T WORRY after me telling you all of this!! I'm trying to do my best and my teachers remind them that that's all I have to do is try my best!! I love you all....please keep using dearelder.com
today!! LOVE HERMANA SCHMIDT P.S. LAURA YOU DON'T HAVE TO EDIT THIS AND PLEASE
FORWARD TO FAMILY!
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