Anna's Letter Dated April 22, 2010

So I ran out of time and didn't have my journal with all the things I wanted tell you about on my last email!! I have had many mini miracles this past week. I've realized a lot of things about myself as a person and I've learning so much more about the Gospel. Sunday night we had Stephen B. Allen speak to the missionaries for the weekly devotional and it was amazing! He told us that had reached a level of spiritual maturity before we were born here in immaturity. Obvious! But I never really thought about it like that.

Brother Allen warned us about not letting our maturity drop to the lowest level of our District. Yeah .... he must have been sitting at our District's table for lunch. The Elders were mixing food together and playing "lets see who will eat it." And someone did of course. One really cool thing I realized this past week is how our name tag has only one thing printed bigger than the words Jesus Christ on it - it's my name! We are being compared to our Savior Jesus Christ on our tag. That is a huge responsibility. Elder Allen showed us all of these church adds all the way back to the 70s and many of them were cheesy but they were really powerful as well. One of the messages was "It's not who are aren't - it's who you are." He also told us to be careful not to offend God and the Holy Ghost by putting yourself down.

Since I've been at the MTC, I've realized how many flaws I have. In fact, it's almost like my flaws are being magnified - of course Satan is helping in that area as well. I've also learned that nervousness & fear actually chase away the spirit. I never realized that before. Also on Sunday during Relief Society Kathy Clayton spoke and she gave us suggestions to keep the spirit with us - they were all really great. She said that when it comes to accomplishing your goals, it breaks down to 45% attitude, 45% decision and 10% circumstances. She said that negative thoughts promote weariness -- NOT being physically tired -- it is becoming SPIRITUALLY TIRED.

Anyway, right now one of my teachers is on a vacation in Spain where she served her mission. We have had some amazing subs! One of them Hermano Zurkle who literally looks like a "Ken Barbie". He gave up playing Football at BYU to be a teacher at the MTC. He is mindblowingly powerful as a teacher. Luckily he is subbing for the next 2 weeks. He really pushes us hard. Tonight when I didn't understand a concept he actually made me get up and teach it. Which I did! It was a pretty big moment. I'm pretty sure he is going to be translated one day. He's also kind of like Mom in a way - he pushes me because he knows I can dot it! WOW - big breakthrough.

He also asked the class a question, "Do I know the Lord well enough that I know I can do this?" So, I am working on knowing my Savior better and always believing in myself. I'm going to be working on breaking years of habits on how I view myself as a learner. I have a complex about learning new concepts - it's hard for me, I don't pick things up quickly depending on what I'm learning. But Elder Kevin W. Pearson (one of the 70) told us during our Tuesday night devotional -- don't look at myself as the Anna before my mission. Don't use my old identity to determine my success in the MTC & on my mission. I was not called to be Anna - I was called to be a missionary - a servant of the Lord. Who I am becoming and who I want to become is my focus. The Lord doesn't call average missionaries. Skipping back to Hermano Zurkle he taught us that miracles are not the exception - THEY ARE THE RULE. If we have faith & do our best - the Lord will qualify me to able to do this. I love you all - Hermana Schmidt